The Husbandry and Feeding of Veterinarians (for new owners)

This is the funniest yet truest interpretation of being with a veterinarian that I have ever read.

Claws Carefully Sheathed

Congratulations on your new relationship! Partnering with a veterinarian is not without its challenges, but with some care and effort you can make things work. Here are a few pointers to help you maximize the bond with your veterinarian.

1. Veterinarians are omnivores – unless they are vegetarians. You’ll have to figure out which type you have. Start out by offering a nice mid-rare steak. If your veterinarian looks ineffably sad and turns away, you have a vegetarian. Eat the steak yourself and turn on fans to vent the smell of cooked flesh, then offer your veterinarian a nice pasta or salad. Timbits

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My Thoughts on the Supreme Court Equalizing Marriage

My thoughts on marriage equality: All for it. Love is love. But tonight one of my family members, who is against it, posted a meme of Homer Simpson sans rainbow pic in a sea of rainbow profile pics with the title “Me on fb.”I haven’t changed mine because my stance on it has always been clear and my LGBT friends know I support them 100%. While it is a huge deal, it shouldn’t be. And to my family and friends against it, I see your posts. And I haven’t deleted you because, so far, they haven’t been offensive beyond not siding with love and you are entitled to your own opinion, just as we were before it was legalized. But, I ask you, for one minute, just one second even, set aside your religion and the other factors in your life telling you you need to be against love regardless of gender, and think about how YOU feel about it… Just you… Not your religion, or your parents, or your friends. Does it really matter to you? Why? Does it really affect you? How? I guarantee you all have at least one LGBT friend, closeted or free. And I ask, how can you deny them their right to love? And deny them the same advantages you are entitled to just because you love a heterosexual partner? It breaks my heart and I truly hope you come to see how beautiful love is, regardless of gender.

My favorite quote I’ve seen regarding this topic: “Be careful who you hate; it could be someone you love.”

Also, my least favorite anti-LGBT argument, “I grew up believing it was wrong and nothing you can say or do will change my mind.” Well… you also grew up believing in Santa Claus, so….

Windows 8 Update.

Still having issues with new Windows 8 update so I decided to try the online GeekSquad. Here is the spark notes version of our conversation:
Agent: Basically, you should take it to your nearest Best Buy to have them run diagnostics on it.
Me: I live on a tiny Caribbean island in the middle of nowhere. The most Westernized store with have is a KFC. No Walmart, not even a McDonald’s. Best Buy isn’t really an option for me.
Agent: Call Microsoft. Good luck.

Perfect.

Fireworks Fiasco

Dear assholes who lit off fireworks next door at 12:30AM,
Thanks to your late night fuckery, you woke the peaceful slumber of a vet student… me (and probably every other vet student on this island). Not only that, you also woke up my hounds. As if the one isn’t psycho enough already without the added fury of trying to bark all the exploding lights to death, my other dog had an ear biopsy yesterday. She was scared and her blood pressure went up. Do you know how bad head wounds bleed? And how much more they bleed with blood pressure through the roof? No? Let me tell you (I would much prefer to show you but Facebook would probably ban me and I would be arrested within the hour for being a psycho axe murderer). Imagine the bloodiest, goriest horror movie you have ever seen… and multiply it by 10. My dog now looks like my grandma in a head scarf.
So thanks to you, I have been up for the last two hours bandaging a head wound and scrubbing blood from my floors and walls. The only good thing to come of this is my floors finally got cleaned and my legs finally got shaved (dried blood doesn’t come off hairy legs any other way). Wanna know what I hate more than shaving? Shaving at two o’clock in the morning.
Next time you decide to light off what I’m sure were the world’s loudest fireworks, you have a golden ticket to my house to calm The Pack, clean up all the blood, apply your first head bandage, and try to understand the groggy, on-call, emergency vet with a British accent.
Sincerely,
One pissed-off, tired, clean-shaven vet student/doggy mom